I’ve had so many women tell me they think I am super-mom. & before anyone thinks this is a post to toot my own horn, think again. While I greatly appreciate those comments and do feel like I have more good days, than bad, it’s also important to recognize the absolute circus that is my life. Raising three kids is not for everyone, but for me, it’s exactly where I knew I would end up. Or hoped so, anyways.
Thought I have tried, I have never been a Pinterest-mom. I don’t have an all white, spotless Ikea kitchen where we bake muffins in matching aprons, and we don’t decorate the mantle for every holiday. I don’t have tricks up my sleeve for toddler entertainment that include homemade crafts and trips where everyone come away smiling and refreshed. Nope, that’s not me at all. Instead most of our trips end up much like today’s with all four of us crying.
Today, I got the bright idea to load up the van and drive us ((in the rain might I add)) to Aldi where I would shop for the week. The plan was to quickly buy a weeks worth of groceries and head to Target for a few things I knew I would be unable to get at Aldi.
The morning started out relatively calm, taking into consideration I didn’t have a single drop of coffee at the present time and don’t typically do a darn thing without it. First, I dropped my list, written in pencil face-down in a puddle.All the lead-written notes I have for myself smear away and now I am shopping blind. We got into the store and then the *youknowhat*-storm really started. The big kids have to walk because I can’t fit them and the groceries in the buggy, so here I am contemplating why the good Lord didn’t give Mom’s extra arms when out of nowhere I turn around and Hadley has opened a box of cereal while I wasn’t looking. Okay, sure. We needed Lucky Charms anyways, into the buggy it goes. Sidenote here- Aldi has the best prices but the layout just plain sucks. I can’t ever find anything I needs which means I resort to walking down every aisle at least twice, sometimes three times and zig zag my way to check out. What should have been a 30min trip with a list turns into at least an hour long trip. I’m sweating, the kids are fighting and damn it if I didn’t forget my bags. Again. Environment be damned, I purchase four paper bags hoping everything fits. It doesn’t. We slug our way to the exit when all of a sudden, the rain starts again. Wonderful timing.
I dash to the car and instruct the kids to get in, which they don’t do because today is apparently, “Make Mommy Say it Ten Times Day”. I load up the baby and the groceries and then Hadley looses her every loving mind because for some unknown reason she threw out a baby bottle as the van door was closing and doesn’t want me to leave it.
I’m all, “Why in the world would you do that Hadley? Well it’s staying there. See what you’ve done. I am not getting back out of this car and getting wetter than I am”
But of course I do, because bottles are expensive. That’s why.
5 minutes later we are at Target, all soaking wet. My mission is simple. First, coffee from Starbucks. Second, Icee’s so the kids remain sated and then a small list of three things: eggs, ricotta, cast iron skillet.
I’m starting to feel pretty good about my day, even taking a cute picture of the baby holding a tiny Starbucks cup for Snapchat when Bam!!!! Blue cotton-candy Icee all over the floor directly in front of the entrance to Target Optical. Hunter is staring at me like a deer in the head-lights. You guessed it, my oldest is the culprit. Apparently it’s hard to hold onto your drink when you are limb0-ing through the sign they place out that tells the passerby how many open appointments there are. Who knew?
We hunt down paper towels, clean up and alert the employees of a spill. Moving on.
Linnie, my Houdini baby can get out of any set of restraints known to man. I finally place my coffee in the bottom of the buggy to wrangle her into submission.
Ricotta cheese. Check.
Whew. We made it.
& then I feel it. I thought I had been peed on. I thought, that my youngest took the most inopportune moment to pee all over herself and me, but no. It’s a grande coffee with heavy whipping cream and two sweet n lows & now it’s on a the floor a whole aisle long. This time it’s no ones fault but my own. For the first time in my life I have to get on the little phones placed strategically across the store to call for help.
Red-faced I apologize to the lady who shows up to rescue me and hightail it out of there. I’m covered in coffee. Hadley is crying because I spilled coffee all over her jacket. Hunter is bewildered because I have officially lost my cool. Linnie is still rivaling David Blaine in her attempts at escaping the buggy. & icing on the cake we run the buggy into a display-in-progress and knock the whole thing over on our exit. At this point the employees are saying, “It’s okay ma’am, don’t you worry about it” but their eyes are saying, “get the heck out of here before you burn the place down.”
& so here we are. It’s noon. I’ve succeeded in making lunch and grocery shopping, but the kids think I am crazy and I think, that maybe I think that too.
There’s not a prophetic moral to this story. Not really anyways. Mainly it goes to show you that it’s not all it appears to be. Of course I don’t snap, or Instagram those messes. I am busy making sure we all survive them, but they are there nonetheless. What you see of someone’s life is the highlight reel. Moms have B-tape they would just die if you saw. It’s there, hidden in the messes. Motherhood is the coolest thing I do. I have three built in best buddies. They go everywhere with me. I’ve never been one to stay home because I didn’t want to deal with them (though sometimes like today maybe I should). However, it’s hard. Sometimes we show our crazy to the whole world, like today & that;s really, really okay!
When you look at someone and think they’ve got it all together. They don’t. Their weakness is just better hidden than your’s and that’s cool too! Keep your heads up Momma. You can remade the coffee and clean up the messes but you can’t get the moments back with your littles. They are fleeting, so enjoy them!